I know I said that I wanted to write this blog chronologically, but I can't help interrupting myself here. We are six weeks into the semester (Fall 09) and many of the teachers are now telling stories about their students. Here are a few of the English names that the students have chosen.
First, we have a student who has insisted on taking the name Caesar Salad, that's right, as in the Au Bon Pain $6.95 lunch. When the teacher pushed him to change his name, he remained firm stating that he liked the name, it had poetry to it, and he was completely satisfied being called Caesar Salad for the next four years.....pass the croutons!
Next, we have a student whose name is Cheese Wang. (No, that's not a typo). When pressed to change his name, he simply stated, I like cheese and I want to be called cheese. My advice to this young man is to stay away from heat lamps and watch out for giant bowls of salsa, someone might get the wrong idea!
Now back to our regularly scheduled semester!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Stop hurling yourself in front of other students!
After teaching several months, I had begun to notice that many of my Chinese students had this annoying habit. I would ask at the end of class are there any questions about homework? Nothing but crickets filled my classroom. "OK, see you all tomorrow". I would turn to erase the board and upon turning once again, I would see at least ten of my students at the desk with questions about (what else?) their homework! So I would patiently explain the homework assignment again...and again...and again. That wasn't the annoying part.
The annoying part was when a student would hurl him or herself in front of another student who had already started asking me a question. I found this rude, I got aggrevated and finally, after many days of witnessing this behavior, I asked! "Guys, why do you do this?" Why can't you wait until your fellow classmate has finished talking to me." We are China, too many peoples, you need important ways to make peoples understand important ways." Huh?
I asked again, so they explained again. Turns out, after several attempts to explain it, I got it. They come from a land of 1.3 billion people, this is the kind of behavior that takes place there. Pushing, shoving, interuppting, cutting lines, cheating, all in the name of getting ahead of someone else...not only is it accepted, it is encouraged!
The next day I decided I needed to address this, so I did. According to the cultural rules of the U.S. if you try any of these behaviors in an American classroom, you'll be thought of as rude, you'll be shunned and if you really pissed someone off, you might get a swift kick to the family jewels.... I suddenly realized that I used the phrase family jewels. "Great", I thought as I turned around to write on the board, "how do I explain this one?"
The annoying part was when a student would hurl him or herself in front of another student who had already started asking me a question. I found this rude, I got aggrevated and finally, after many days of witnessing this behavior, I asked! "Guys, why do you do this?" Why can't you wait until your fellow classmate has finished talking to me." We are China, too many peoples, you need important ways to make peoples understand important ways." Huh?
I asked again, so they explained again. Turns out, after several attempts to explain it, I got it. They come from a land of 1.3 billion people, this is the kind of behavior that takes place there. Pushing, shoving, interuppting, cutting lines, cheating, all in the name of getting ahead of someone else...not only is it accepted, it is encouraged!
The next day I decided I needed to address this, so I did. According to the cultural rules of the U.S. if you try any of these behaviors in an American classroom, you'll be thought of as rude, you'll be shunned and if you really pissed someone off, you might get a swift kick to the family jewels.... I suddenly realized that I used the phrase family jewels. "Great", I thought as I turned around to write on the board, "how do I explain this one?"
Sunday, October 18, 2009
New words in the English language..brought to you by young, confused foreign students!
Below, for your English dictionary pleasure, are words that are being spoken and written by students who are trying to use this language. These words have appeared on tests, quizzes and other tools used to gauge whether or not a student can use the word functionally.
Idiocratic- a word used to describe a person who is completely incapable of doing anything while claiming to work for a large government agency. Ex- He's so idiocratic, it's beyond me why they don't fire his butt!
Innovention- this is a word used to describe something that has been thought of, brought to life, and then bought up by Microsoft. Think of your own example, there's a ton of them!
Dramastic-a word used to describe a drama queen.
Ex-Oh, god, why is she so dramastic, I mean, really! Can't she just get a grip!
Idiocratic- a word used to describe a person who is completely incapable of doing anything while claiming to work for a large government agency. Ex- He's so idiocratic, it's beyond me why they don't fire his butt!
Innovention- this is a word used to describe something that has been thought of, brought to life, and then bought up by Microsoft. Think of your own example, there's a ton of them!
Dramastic-a word used to describe a drama queen.
Ex-Oh, god, why is she so dramastic, I mean, really! Can't she just get a grip!
Monday, October 5, 2009
I'm going to write a compare and contrast essay.....about you!
I schlepped my bag into the office and dropped it down as if it was 3,000 pounds. I slumped into my chair with a groan. My colleague looked at me with a look of chagrin. "What's wrong?" I said reluctanly. She breathed in "Peter Pan is writing an essay about the two of us!" "WHAT" "NO"
"He can't be?" "Oh, he is", she stated with certainty. My colleague and I both taught him, she had him for Reading and Writing and I had him for a class called Culture and Communication. "This can't be good", I moaned. She continued "I guess the other students tried to talk him out of it, but he couldn't be pursuaded." Sure enough, two weeks later, the essay appeared. Here is an excerpt:
"The first teacher I want to talk about teaches me Culture and Communication. She is American but with the Italian blood. What a tall and slim lady! She is passionate. She speaks with great fervor. She put her words into vivid movement. She is enthusiastic. She is cordial and makes you excited about what you are learning. She was that kind of teacher who can easily draw your attention and loaded everything needed into your mind (including the way of her teaching) right away. I remember in the class, she videotaped our presentation in order to prove our speaking skills; she held a debate to help develop our critical thinking; she also gave a lot of assignments which required us do some investigation in or outside the campus. All these make you exciting and meanwhile brought about pressure on your academic studying. In Diana’s class, she might first help you discover yourself then lead you to discover what she wants to interpret. She is fire and she makes you feel the fire."
How exactly do you interpret that?
"He can't be?" "Oh, he is", she stated with certainty. My colleague and I both taught him, she had him for Reading and Writing and I had him for a class called Culture and Communication. "This can't be good", I moaned. She continued "I guess the other students tried to talk him out of it, but he couldn't be pursuaded." Sure enough, two weeks later, the essay appeared. Here is an excerpt:
"The first teacher I want to talk about teaches me Culture and Communication. She is American but with the Italian blood. What a tall and slim lady! She is passionate. She speaks with great fervor. She put her words into vivid movement. She is enthusiastic. She is cordial and makes you excited about what you are learning. She was that kind of teacher who can easily draw your attention and loaded everything needed into your mind (including the way of her teaching) right away. I remember in the class, she videotaped our presentation in order to prove our speaking skills; she held a debate to help develop our critical thinking; she also gave a lot of assignments which required us do some investigation in or outside the campus. All these make you exciting and meanwhile brought about pressure on your academic studying. In Diana’s class, she might first help you discover yourself then lead you to discover what she wants to interpret. She is fire and she makes you feel the fire."
How exactly do you interpret that?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sneezing is a laughable offense
It is true that one man's habit is another man's amusement. Case in point: sneezing. Yes, sneezing. The act that every human, animal and amoeba are forced to engage in when something has clogged the ventilation systems.
We were in class and not too long before all my students came down with an illness or two. The first three weeks are always the worst. They are eating strange food, injesting water with weird microbes and generally partying till they puke, which at some point within the first three weeks, comes back to haunt them. The sneezing starts around this time, so this is when I start with the "God bless you!" At first, they just collectively laughed every time I said it, out loud, with an obvious tinge of amusment. Then, slowly as it kept happening, it became somewhat of an irritation to me. So, getting up my nerve, I asked one day. "Guys, why is it every time I say God bless you after you sneeze, you all laugh?" Robin Hood, King of English forest stated dryly, "It's because we don't do that after someone sneezes, we don't believe in God, we are communists. It suddenly hit me, my god, they are communists! There is no God according to this ideaology, so of course this is going to be outrageous to them! I proceeded to then explain the whole sneezing story, as it had been relayed to me. They listened in amusement. Nothing much was said after that. The chuckles continued now and again after someone had let a good one rip, but the mystery of sneezing had lost its allure. Like all other cultural differences, eventually the difference becomes the norm...and we all just reach for a tissue!
We were in class and not too long before all my students came down with an illness or two. The first three weeks are always the worst. They are eating strange food, injesting water with weird microbes and generally partying till they puke, which at some point within the first three weeks, comes back to haunt them. The sneezing starts around this time, so this is when I start with the "God bless you!" At first, they just collectively laughed every time I said it, out loud, with an obvious tinge of amusment. Then, slowly as it kept happening, it became somewhat of an irritation to me. So, getting up my nerve, I asked one day. "Guys, why is it every time I say God bless you after you sneeze, you all laugh?" Robin Hood, King of English forest stated dryly, "It's because we don't do that after someone sneezes, we don't believe in God, we are communists. It suddenly hit me, my god, they are communists! There is no God according to this ideaology, so of course this is going to be outrageous to them! I proceeded to then explain the whole sneezing story, as it had been relayed to me. They listened in amusement. Nothing much was said after that. The chuckles continued now and again after someone had let a good one rip, but the mystery of sneezing had lost its allure. Like all other cultural differences, eventually the difference becomes the norm...and we all just reach for a tissue!
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